not meant for me

missed 2 days of school, 4 days of studying. so im really really behind time. everyone around me is studying. i think i should be worried that im not worried but why am i not? dont know whether you would consider this a break from all the studying, but sometimes being emotionally-drained for a few hours is alot more tiring than studying for 10 hours a day.

i have so many things to worry bout, some more important, some less. but it's always the less important things and the things that are of least priority that you worry about the most. people would tell me that these are things that i should've seen coming, but somehow such symptoms never come to me till the very very last moment, when you either make it or break it. the last time i tried, i broke it. didnt feel very good to know that someone you've known for a really long time is going to walk away from you and not be there for you anymore. even though he says he is, you wouldn't ever know, because psychological barriers will always be there to stop you from going back to where you used to be. so i guess i've just proven my point, that what i thought existed since 2 years ago, doesnt exist in reality. and dont be so guillible to think that it exists, cause it really doesnt, and believing that it does will only land you in a really deep hole, so deep that you dont know whether you should even bother trying to get out of it.

going back to school tomorrow doesnt seem very exciting to me. the only thing im looking forward to is thusday, or maybe not.

study breaks were never meant to be called breaks. they should be called black holes instead. cause they suck the life out of you and make you live in your own bubble and never see the light of the day till it's time for dinner.

picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor

I CANT FINISH MY WORK): and im angry cause of that. plus the fact that i've been eating so much till i feel like puking. I MISS MY FRIENDS.

hahahah looks like i wont be able to finish everything on time. (like i told myself i should and i would)

ALETHEA WANTS TO GO SHOPPING! and ALETHEA WANTS TO DANCE. only a week left go go go!(:

made a fool out of everyone

pretty right!!!!!!(: but it looks so unreal i think i prefer dark red ones(:

today was such an unproductive day even though it was raining with thunder (good environment to study and absorb). though i managed to highlight everything on the list that was planned for today, felt i could've done so much more. but ohwell, there're always good and bad days right! guess today just wasnt one of them.

alethea's quite worried for cts. i feel like im studying so much more than in the past but somehow it still seems like im far from prepared. and i dont like feeling nervous bout papers cause i always wish that i could walk into the exam hall feeling that i've studied everything and i know everything there is to know. unfortunately it's so impossible.

ughhh and i'm quite troubled. again. history seems to be repeating itself. though i sometimes wonder whether it has always been my fault that people feel and act strange. or maybe im just not cut out for friendships like that):

tomorrows the start of a new day for me!(: back to the library to mug my butt off again! but i hope tomorrow's gonna be alot better. i think im starting to get used to this routine!(: the pillar on level 3 of the library says: STRICTLY FOR HARDCORE MUGGERS ONLY.

and i'm proud to be a hardcore mugger(:

unconditional

OMGGGGGG. alethea realised after celebrate the bestest birthday ever how much she misses her friends. so today im gonna write a long long report on what happened yesterday so that everyone can see what nice friends alethea knows and has(:

yesterday morning i went to school at 830 to study (i still havent figured out whether i did the write thing or not cause everyone else was discouraging me from mugging on my birthday. they say it's stupid) and i finished 2 topics of bio!(: hahaha becks asked us down for lunch at 11 then the dancers bought a pretty balloon and a macs pancake and a new pencilcase!!!!!(: hahah i just transferred my stuff out of my ziplock bag and IM USING THE PENCILCASE NOW! heehee. oh and the birthday song(: hahah actually birthday songs dont really make you feel awesome. somehow they make you feel embarrassed, especially when they come to the part where they sing your name. BUT I STILL LOVE MY DANCERS!(: I LOVE YOU WAITENG LYDIA BECKY ELIAS CHARLES JING! thank you for coming to school specially to celebrate even though you guys had to rush off to somewhere else soon after! thank you for the notes that you wrote for me (in the book or elsewhere). i shall laminate them and show you guys when we meet up when we're 70(: 

then i went home to eat lunch and wash up and change and then i left the house!!!!! for the most exciting part of the day which i was looking forward to for a long long time already(: actually no. we went to play pool first! AND BIRTHDAY GIRL GOT BIRTHDAY LUCK. hahahahah i beat luwei okay! even with his pro-er glove and cue. HEHEH.

oh.. actually we were supposed to go to carousel for dinner yesterday. but luwei so poor thing call 4 days in a row the receptionist not there. then when she finally picked up they said they were fully booked. so we went to straits kitchen instead! and it's still super good! we ate until we were super fullllllll. mmhmm. THEN THE BIRTHDAY CAKE CAME! hahahaha. birthday song again. this time got hahahah alot more people. restaurant staff somemore! im sure i must have turned absolutely red la omg haha. then so stupid. UNEXTINGUISHABLE CANDLES. hahahah funniest moment of the day i swear. stupid luwei and jack only thought about how i wouldnt be able to blow it out, then they didnt even think about how they would extinguish it themselves. then in the end they stuck the candle into the watermelon to put out the flame.

then they gave me my birthday present!!!!! (hahah after luwei's really strange speech) alethea's first abc book(: actually i wanted to show it to everyone. but inside got all my unglam pictures so i dont want already heheh(: BUT THANK YOU DEARS FOR DOING ALL THIS FOR ME. i really felt like i must've been a really good kid in my past lifetime that now i have so many so many friends that take super good care of me and do so much for me and make me feel like im one in a million(: i really was super super happy yesterday. the happiest i could ever get(: and it's cause i have special friends that are really special people to me.

and thank you you for always being there for me and taking super good care of me. thank you for your present too(: i really really like it. and you know i was afraid that the same thing was gonna happen to me again when i said what i said. but on the contrary you made me feel super happy with what you told me in the end. i think i fell asleep smiling heheh. so i know i'll always have your back(:

takes time to love

today was such an unproductive day for alethea): im so horribly sad now. cause i only did one topic of chem the entire day): looks like i'll have to finish up the backlock tmw then):

WHYYYYYYYY...

i really love this photo(: one day i shall go order a pair of pink pointes! or maybe red. and stud them with diamontes(:

i havent danced for a month already. can feel myself becoming flabbier by the day):